THE HOLE

THERE'S A GREAT BIG HOLE
UNDERNEATH MY HOME
AND EVERYONE'S TELLING ME
TO LEAVE IT ALONE
BUT HOW CAN I IGNORE IT
WHEN I CAN'T SEE THE BOTTOM
I TOLD THE AUTHORITIES
BUT I'M SURE THEY'VE FORGOTTEN

THE HOUSE IS NOW SUBSIDING
IT'S PERCHED AT AN ANGLE
I CAN'T GET COMPENSATION
WITHOUT A LEGAL WRANGLE
THE COUNCIL SAY IT'S BOTTOMLESS
AND THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN DO
IT COULD BE AN OLD MINE SHAFT
OR A SCAR OF WORLD WAR TWO

I'VE HEARD A VICIOUS RUMOUR
GOING ROUND THE TOWN
SAYING THE RUSKIES HAVE INVADED
BY GOING UNDERGROUND
I CALLED IN AN EXPERT
WHO'S OPINION I TRUST
HE SAYS I'VE GOT A DEFECT
IN MY SURFACE CRUST

A CRACK OF SPLINTERED WOOD
AND HALF THE FLOOR HAS GONE
I'M LUCKY THAT IT WASN'T
THE HALF THAT I'M STOOD ON
WHAT IF I JUST VANISH
INTO THE MURKY VAULT
WILL ANYONE CONSIDER
IT COULD OF BEEN THEIR FAULT